ODDBALLS ! ( Not The Genital Kind)


Time I caught up on a few odds and sods I think. This is just a few of my strange and bizarre calls.

Ring, Ring.

“Hello, who am I speaking too?”

“This is Armond” “Hello Armond, what can I do for you?”

“I want my hard cock in your wet pussy baby”

Before I had chance to respond and tell him how wonderful that would be, I heard

“Well now Mrs. Rumbold that would depend on what kind of conservatory you had in mind”

” um Armond?”

“Yes baby?”

” please tell me your not in a call centre”

” yeah, but it’s ok we have our own little cubicle”

Un bloody believable

“Don’t you think the calls are going to show up on the records?”

“That’s ok babe, I’ll be long gone by then”


Ring, Ring

” hello, who am I speaking too?”

“Norman mistress”

” what can I do for you Norman?”

“I want to take your big strapon mistress”

” are you naked and on your knees for me Norman?”

“No mistress”

” why not slave?”

” it’s a bit awkward mistress as I’m in the park walking the dog”

Hallelujah !!

” what? Are you walking in the park with your cock out Norman?”

” oh no mistress, it’s ok, I’ve got a big hole in my jeans pocket”

Bloody wonderful!!

Ring Ring

“Hello , who am I speaking too?”

“Arthur mistress” ” what can I do for you Arthur?”

” I want to be dominated mistress, I love CBT ”

” very well Arthur. Are you naked on your knees?”

“Not quite mistress, I’ve got a jumper on as its not too warm. I can’t get on my knees as I’ve not long had a knee replacement”

” how old are you Arthur?”

” 83 mistress”

What the bloody hell am I going to do here without giving the old boy a heart attack, better take it steady “What sort of CBT did you have in mind Arthur ?”

“I want you to tread all over my cock with your stiletto heels push your heel into my cock till it bleeds”

Good god, what happened to little old grandads and werthers originals!

“Right then Arthur, brace yourself!”

Armond is still hanging onto his job at the call Centre, coz he’s back

Ring Ring

“Hello who am I speaking too?”

“Hi baby, it’s Armond”

“Hello Armond, how are you today?”

” horny baby, wanna fuck that pussy”

Wonderful ”

Oh yes Armond, you nice and hard for me?”

” oh yeah baby, push three fingers in that pussy”

At the time I’m aware of girls chatting on the phone in the background, but Armond is oblivious. Then the competition starts.

Me”oh Armond, are you going to cum for me?”

Him “yeah baby, but I want you to cum first”

Me “oh Armond, I’m going to”

Him “cum for me baby”

Me”I am Armond, oh oh”

Him” are you gonna cum for me baby?”

Me “yes Armond, I said I did, are you going to cum for me?”

Him “you cum first”

Me”Armond, I have”

Him ” cum for me baby”

Me ” Armond, I have, I’ve bloody well cum for you, now are you going to cum for me?” Him ” you cum first”

Me  “Are you deaf Armond ? I just have”

For fuck sake! Click!!


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